Random Thoughts

Sorry suckers. No living vicariously off the Stool tonight. You want to see hot chicks come to our cover model of the Year party at Liquor Store at 9pm. Me and my shirt will be there and so will be the only mechanical bull in Boston.

Boston.com - Curry College decided to suspend the remainder of the men's lacrosse season Monday, after allegations of team hazing came to light. According to Milton police, the alleged hazing happened at an off-campus party in February, but Fran Jackson, director of communications at Curry, said the school only recently found out."Upon being made aware of the allegations, the college took swift action to the issue and this involved launching our own internal investigation and reporting it to the Milton Police Department as required by law," Jackson said. Various members of the team have stated the allegations are false, with freshman Mike Hibbard telling Channel 25 that nothing happened. "We weren't hurt," Hibbard said. "We weren't forced to do anything." "I just think it's very unnecessary," player Evan Hammersley told the television station. "Honestly, I really think they're just trying to make an example of us."Jackson said any additional sanctions for students directly involved in the alleged hazing would be issued after internal and external investigations are complete. Sanctions could vary from suspension to expulsion. Jackson said the team, which was 2-5, is expected to play a full season next year.

Obviously the season got canceled.  That’s what happens when you’re 2-5.  The administration was probably just looking for an excuse to end the embarrassment.   I mean don’t think for a second if this team was 7-0 that they wouldn’t have looked the other way with this.  But losers don’t get the benefit off the doubt.    Also how dumb does this team have to be.   I mean you want to get your team back?  You don’t whine to the press.   You send your big guns into the Dean’s office and work out a deal.  I’m obviously talking about Curry College WWE Tag Team Champions Nolan/Bonnie.  They would have had this thing fixed in two seconds.   Because when you look like they do you get what you want when you want.

PS- Bonus points to the first Curry College lax player who tells me what happened at the party

Every once in awhile a video comes across my desk that just hits all the right notes for me. A video that isn't punch you in the face hilarious, but the more you watch it the funnier it gets. This is one of those videos. First of all I've never seen a hockey coach leave the bench like this to argue. And I think the reason why is because of exactly what happened to poor P.K O'Handley here. It's just tough to take somebody seriously when they are doing back-flips on their head as they try to argue. And as the guy who sent us this video points out the best part is the announcers laissez faire reaction to when the coach goes down.. "PK O'Handley hit the deck". I've watched this 20 times already and it gets better every time. I swear if somebody falls tonight at Liquor Store and somebody says "PK Handley just hit the deck" I will buy them beers on Coors Light's tab the rest of the evening.

- Thanks to Joey for the tip

CENTRAL SQUARE, N.Y. - Officers arrested a central New York couple because their 7- and 8-year-old sons showed up at school stoned on marijuana, police said. Officials at Cleveland Elementary School notified authorities about the possible drug use last week. On Wednesday, state police charged 33-year-old James Tyson and 34-year-old Christina Miczek of Bernhards Bay with endangering the welfare of a child. The misdemeanor is punishable by up to a year in jail. The boys smoked the marijuana after finding it at their home, police said. Troopers also charged a 15-year-old who made a smoking device for the boys.

What am I missing here? The 7 and 8 year old show up at school high and their parents get arrested? How does that compute? The boys admit they stole mom and dad's weed! James and Christina are the victims here. And they're facing a year in jail?! This is a gross miscarriage of justice. "Endangering the welfare of a child"? For what? Having weed in the house? It's hard enough to raise kids without having to hover over them every minute making sure they don't get into your stash. I know when I was 8 and had to get myself off to school my mom and dad always said "And whatever you do, make sure you keep your mitts off our Hawaiian Skunk" and I always would. Call me old fashioned, but back in my day we respected our parents' supply. I mean, these people are doing a good job. There aren't many 15 year olds with the brains and ingenuity to make their own bong. They can't help it if their 2nd & 3rd graders are little punks.

Get me this fucking band!    I mean if the Los Colorados can’t get a party started then nobody can.   I just hope I don’t have to pay for their travel expenses like I did with Mr. Belding.    Because a direct flight from the Ukraine is probably expensive as shit.   Not to mention I’m sure these dudes only fly first class.   I hope I can afford it.  I guess you only get married once though right?   You might as well spring for the best.    And make no mistake about it.  These guys are the best.  

[NSFW: language] I'm not up on my Mixed Martial Arts very much so I've never heard of Dana White until now. But it's clear from watching this that the president of UFC is the perfect man for the job. I'm still not sure what's got his panties in a bunch, but apparently some writer named Loretta Hunt wrote something White didn't like so rather than issue some mamby pamby press release or send her an email, White unloads on her with a crazy, rambling, obscenity-filled pointless rant. Memo to Roger Goodell and Bud Selig: THIS is how you run a professional sports organization.

Reader Email

Pres,
 
Love the stool. Me and my boys check it everyday... I saw this gem at the Raptors vs. Bulls game on Sunday, 134-129 in o.t. for the raptors, great fucking game!  Anyways, I was behind this guy in line for a beer... and you know that Canadian beer is like moonshine. What do the stoolies think? Cheers from Toronto (the stool is internationally known and locally respected)
 
p.s. I’m coming to Boston for the marathon April 16th-21th and I’m looking for SOX tickets for the Friday and either Bruins or Celtics playoff tickets for any game available...... think any of the stoolies could hook me up??

In the course of doing the Stool over the past five years I feel like I’ve pretty much seen it all.  That there is nothing that people can send me anymore that would really shock me.    But boy was I wrong.   This picture literally took my breath away.  I mean I’ve never seen anything quite like whatever this guy is rocking before in my life.    Seriously this is beyond description.   How does it even work?   Is his hair even all the way down his back?  Or does he just have a giant rat tail that he braids?  Whatever the case may be I’d say it’s even money that I have nightmares about this thing tonight.

PS – Yes I know a Stoolie who can hook you up with Sox tix.  I think his username is Higs Tickets.  

Since some people don't know how to edit YouTube videos and the time of all Stoolies is extremely valuable, fast forward to about the 1:00 mark. This is video evidence, in case we needed it, why life is good for hot chicks. Guys don't risk their necks to save homely girls from almost certain death. Not even dorky guys in "GLOVE" + "BASEBALL" = "SMILE" t-shirts. He would've just let the ball hit her then fielded the carom off her squash if she looked like America Ferrera. But put a blonde in a bikini top in harms way and he turns into Kevin Costner in "The Body Guard." Too bad he had to go and blow it though, with the phoney-hustle dive-after-catch and standing there like a chump waiting for a thank you. Being attractive means never having to say thanks. Not even from Tits McGee next to her.

This is what people in the business call a preemptive strike. Yes, I'm wearing this fucking shirt tonight to our Cover Model of the Year Party at Liquor Store. Yes I know it's a risky move. Yes, The First Lady has advised against it. Yes, I'm sure I'm going to get ripped a new asshole for it. Yes, I'll probably make my second appearance on Hot Chicks With Douchebags. But I don't give a fuck. I like the shirt. Actually no I love this shirt. And it's my fucking party so I'm wearing it. So for all you dickheads and haters out there who are going to rip me to shreds save it. I don't care. This shirt is awesome. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. The First Lady probably didn't want me wearing it because she's not going and she knows I can't help but get laid with this thing on. It's a flat out pussy magnet. But just because I'm curious to see how stupid the Stoolies are I'm going to let people vote on the awesomeness of this piece of art. So here goes...

Vote 1 for this shirt will probably get me blown in the bathroom by a cover model and 10 for this shirt is too awesome for Mr. Awesome himself.

PS - I haven't sent out any RSVP's yet. We'll have our computer there so if you RSVP's your all set. If you haven't just sent one to covermodelparty@barstoolsports.com

Click Here for the Answer

Has there ever been a bigger sudden change of momentum in the history of youtube then with this video? I mean when it started I would have bet my ass this was going to be all about some ridiculously hot cheerleader sticking her tits and ass in my face. And then boom the camera pans to arguably the creepiest motherfucker on the planet doing the Stanky Leg. I swear I had the tecmo bowl II fumble sound ringing in my ears because it was such a shock to my system.

- Thanks to Philip

Ray Allen loves to torture the Bobcats, who in turn love to torture me by playing the Celtics tough almost every time they play. I watch the whole game by myself in the dark, mumbling "f-ing Bobcats" over and over again. Nothing brings me greater happiness than the Celtics beating the piss out of a team in the first half so I can go to bed early.

But, this one was pretty fun- Ray Allen was bombing clutch threes like he was the computer in NBA Jam. Remember how you always needed a four point lead in that game in order to win? The Bobcats could have had a three point lead with two seconds left with Gerald Wallace flying through the air doing a hundred flips, prepared to boom shakalaka, and Ray Allen would have somehow shoved him midair, picked up the loose ball, and bombed it in from his own baseline. He could not be denied.

He covered up for some truly awful performances from his front line. Perkins was handling the ball as if it were a live explosive (7 turnovers). Big Baby was 1-4 from the floor in 39 minutes. Mikki Moore had 5 fouls in 13 minutes. Mikki plays defense like he's a groper on a subway car. An opposing player is just standing there and Mikki comes sprinting in, grabs the guy's tits and grinds on him.

The other interesting little nugget from this game is that the Celtics are now in second place in the East. That's great, because the Pistons are in seventh place and Iverson is hinting that he wants to retire. What a teammate. I know they're the Pistons, with all that fake mystique, but they are a complete shitshow. If both teams stay put, that would be a tasty first round matchup for our C's. Much better than facing Dwayne Wade, the refs, and the rest of the Miami Heat in round 1. This scenario admittedly isn't likely considering that the Pistons are spiraling out of control and the Bulls are finally getting their act together... but a boy can dream, can't he?

I hate when this happens. Seriously I'm not sure what the bet was here, but anytime you end up with your face buried in another man's ass while doing sit ups it's a bad day. As a side note, we pulled this shit on Manzo his first day at the Stool.

Talk about a wasted porn name. Vanessa Blouin...she needed the money...

More of the Bikini model here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

Okay I know I'm beating a dead horse with this, but I had like 10 emails waiting for me when I got home from trivia about how the Patriot Ledger is getting credit for breaking the Green Death story. And lo and behold they are. Listen it's one thing when nobody gets credit, but it's quite another when somebody else starts taking credit for something we did. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it kind of does. So I just shot this email off to their editors. Not that anybody cares, but I'll let you know if they have the balls to respond. At the very least they should sell my tshirts on their website.

Email to the Patriot Ledger